Friday, July 29, 2016

Tim Kaine, Shmegegge: Speech of the VP-Wannabe of Mexico Was a Total Bomb & How Exciting Was Hillary Clinton’s Speech?

A timely post from about VP candidate Kaine and about Candidate Clinton . This follows this post about criminals. This follows this post about rap songs referencing Donald Trump.
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Tim Kaine, Shmegegge: Speech of the VP-Wannabe of Mexico Was a Total Bomb

By Debbie Schlussel

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Spanish, Spanish, Spanish, Bad Trump Imitation, Spanish, Spanish Lesson, Spanish, Bad Trump, Spanish Lesson, Bad Joke, Spanish.
That’s my summary of Vice-President-Wannabe Tim Kaine’s boring, disjointed, silly speech last night at the Democratic National Convention a/k/a DemComicCon in Philly. It was a BOMB.
Like many of you, I already know of Kaine’s history of Islamo-pandering (which dates back to his days as a Catholic missionary, his earlier career as a “civil rights lawyer,” and the beginnings of his Social Justice Warriorhood). But his eyebrows and his look reminded me of the late great Jonathan Harris’ “Dr. Zachary Smith” on the vintage TV series “Lost In Space.” And I could hear the robot shouting, “Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!” Danger, America! Danger!
Then, there was the speech, about half of which was in Spanish. I mean, is this guy running for Veep of the U.S. or El-Veep of Mexico? If you heard the speech, you’d assume the latter. I speak several languages, none of which is Spanish, so I hadn’t a clue what this putz was saying. This is America, chump. SPEAK ENGLISH. A guy who speaks in Spanish (and I include George W. Bush in this category) is a guy who wants to practice identity politics, engage in multi-culturalist double-speak, and further divide America. We used to have things that united us all–TV shows, shared experiences, and the same language: English. If we don’t share that, then what do we share? I’m not sure there is anything common to Americans anymore. There is nothing that unites us . . . because dumbasses speak in Spanish while running for office in the United States of America. Pretty soon, many of them will speak Arabic while doing so . . . as they already do in Dearbornistan, Dearbornistan Heights, and Hamtramckstan, Michigan.
By the way, if Kaine was gonna speak any Spanish, he needed to tell us, “Yo Soy Moron.”
[DS: “Punim” is Hebrew and Yiddish for “face.”]
In addition to mucho Spanish–and several failed Spanish lessons–this guy, Kaine, did several very bad, epic fail Donald Trump imitations. They bombed. Who the heck told this guy he does a good Trump impression? My friend’s 10-year-old son does a better Melania imitation. You could tell this person, Kaine, has a lot of yes-men (and yes-women) surrounding him–that they let him do that failed Trump imitation on the stage, not just once, but several times. It was like watching a bad cattle call for Last Comic Standing.
And all of the Spanish and the bad Trump impressions were distracting. I can’t remember most of what this guy said–that of it I could understand. All I remember was that he mostly attacked Trump and embraced liberal tripe. But it just wasn’t memorable at all. Because this guy isn’t memorable.
The main thing that I noted was what a lightweight this guy is. A total empty suit. A complete nothingburger. Not in the least bit impressive. Not even close. He reminds me of a bland doctor or accountant droning on and on. Or maybe the neighbor mowing the lawn.
Every single other person who was on Hillary’s short list heard this speech and was saying to him-and-herself, “I lost out to this chump?!” The guy is a nothing, a putz, a shlemiel (the guy who spills the soup) and shlemazel (the guy on which the shlemiel spills the soup) at the same time, and the very walking definition of shmegegge. Not that I intended to give you a Yiddish lesson, but this guy embodies a ton of common Yiddish nouns, none of ’em good.
Mike Pence is gonna blow this guy away in the VP debates. I can’t wait.
Whatta putz that guy, Tim Kaine, is. What a nothing. A total zero.
Gotta say it: this guy makes me miss Creepy, Crazy Uncle Joe (Biden) already. At least he gave us non-stop comedy gold for nearly eight years.

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