Wknd Box Office: Thor, Something Borrowed, Winter in Wartime, Cave of Forgotten Dreams

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/  reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post some of the movies from last week and  THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed!  This all  follows this post about guidelines to chosing good movies to watch yourself!

Wknd Box Office: Thor, Something Borrowed, Winter in Wartime, Cave of Forgotten Dreams


By Debbie Schlussel



The best–and ONLY good–new movie this weekend is a small arthouse thriller about World War II and the Nazis. If you can’t find it, best to stay home and rent/Netflix something else.











* “Thor“: Rhymes with bore . . . for a reason. Yaaaawn. This ain’t no “god of thunder.” More like, god of slumber. Chris Hemsworth (who trained for this movie at the Detroit area gym where I work out–nice house, no one home) plays an uninspired version of an already uninspired superhero, Thor. This movie was boring, a mess, and had a dull, waste of time story.





Thor, a prince of some distant planet, is a brash, arrogant, immature guy who defies his father, the King, and goes to some planet where they freeze people. He fights the frozen dudes and upsets the balance of things. His evil brother puts his father in a coma and sends Thor to earth, where he falls in love with an annoying Natalie Portman (sooooo sick of her and her lackluster acting–her best performance was as a kid in “The Professional” (read my review) and it’s been all downhill from there). Portman is a scientist studying storms and disruptions in the desert, where Thor lands. There is no spark between them and no chemistry. The same can be said about Hemsworth and his role. Dullardsville.



I saw the movie in 3D, and it was a waste. Didn’t need to be 3D and there was barely any of it of substance. Kinda like this long, boring movie. Nothing objectionable here. Just nothing worth spending $10-$14 bucks and more than two hours of your life on. It’s fine for kids. This is mindless baby-sitter stuff. Nothing more.



HALF A REAGAN





* “Something Borrowed“: Wow, it’s official. Anti-American Kate Hudson hit the wall. She’s supposed to be “the hot one” in this movie, but instead, she really looks like a fat old cow, far older than her years. Awful. This is an unbearable chick flick I advise guys to avoid like the plague. Yes, there are a few really funny lines, but they are all the property of John Krasinski, and there’s not enough of him and far more of the annoying chick flickish fawning and brooding stuff.



Ginnifer “my parents got the ’70s Jennifer memo but were hooked on Seagram’s or couldn’t spell” Goodwin plays a lawyer who is the “geeky,” “less pretty” half of a best friend duo–two women who’ve been BFFs since they were little kids. Hudson is the half of the duo who always gets what she wants, is supposed to be super hot, and is engaged to the lawyer Goodwin always wanted but didn’t think she was good enough to have. The guy–by the way–is played by a Colin Egglesfield, who looks like they took Tom Cruise Silly Putty and put him on a stretching machine. It’s too distracting how much he resembles a semi-twisted version of Cruise.



The guy always had a crush on Goodwin and didn’t think she wanted him. Now he is engaged to Hudson and they are about to be married. But he and Goodwin have a one-night stand and the machinations continue. Does he break off his engagement? Does Hudson find out about them? Who cares? I sure didn’t. Booooooring. Next. This went on forever, despite being more predictable than death and taxes.



It was even less convincing because Goodwin, who normally ain’t all that, actually looks better than Hudson in this. Stick a fork in it, Kate. You’re done. So, what was that you said about how you hate Americans? Eat it. Oh, wait, looks like you already have . . . and then some (and this was filmed before she got pregnant, so save the e-mails).



TWO MARXES




* “Winter in Wartime [Oorlogswinter]“: I cannot say enough good things about this masterpiece. LOVED It! Excellent. And while it begins slowly, it sneaks up on you as a great thriller. Easily one of the best movies of the year, and definitely THE BEST so far.



A boy in his early teens is the son of the mayor of a Nazi-occupied town in the Netherlands. He secretly helps a British pilot whose plane crashed in the woods nearby and is working with the partisans. The boy has an uneasy, precarious position because his friends have been arrested and killed for being involved with the partisans, and his father is trying to maintain an uneasy peace with the Nazis to save his village people. At the same time, the boy’s uncle–who is working with the partisans–has moved in. Who can the boy trust? Will he be able to sneak around and save the soldier without risking others’ lives?



Such a young boy shows incredible fortitude and maturity, as many surely did amidst Nazi occupation during World War II, as did many American boys who served, fought, and some of whom lost life or limb. Kids his age in the current era pale in comparison, and I doubt most would have the guts to do against the Islamic threat what this kid and many others did against the Nazis.



In Dutch with English subtitles. A MUST SEE. Terrific.



FOUR REAGANS PLUS






* “Cave of Forgotten Dreams“: Werner Herzog directed and narrates this documentary about a French cave preserved for thousands of years because it was sealed off with rocks, etc. Inside, there are many drawings and paintings of various animals, along with stalagmites and stalagtites, and the preserved bones of dead bears and other animals.



While this was interesting at first, it went on and on and on. It could have been a 20 minute television feature, and that would have been more than enough. Instead it covered the material to death, and then some. Listening to Herzog narrate this was kinda like listening to an evil villain from the “Die Hard” movies narrate something academic. Strange and mildly comical.



But the comical became absurd when Herzog goes 20 miles away to some sort of reptile sanctuary and asks what the crocodiles (or alligators–I forget which) think about the paintings in the caves nearby. Really? Did you really just ask that, Werner? I laughed a lot. But, unfortunately, the movie didn’t end there. It kept on going and finally it was over. Great stuff for insomnia.



Plus Herzog never tells us how the paintings/drawings were made and what implements were used or what type of ink. Other basic questions like that just weren’t answered as he bored us to tears with his repetition and inane musings. I don’t dislike Herzog. He’s a bright guy. But it’s important to note that he is the same guy who defamed brave American Gene DeBruin in his “Rescue Dawn” movie. I’ll never forget that, and neither should you when you watch anything else he makes that gets to the big screen.



HALF A REAGAN