Wknd Box Office: 21 Jump Street, Jeff Who Lives at Home
By Debbie Schlussel
No great shakes at the box office this weekend. Here’s what debuts today in theaters today:
* “21 Jump Street“: If you believe that a severed penis is funny, this is your movie. If you believe that a severed penis in a man’s mouth is even funnier, this is definitely your movie. For everyone else who actually has a sense of humor–and a sense of taste and decency to go along with it–skip this. It’s disgusting, vile, stupid, and repeats the same jokes and gags over and over. And here’s a hint that it sucked: the studio didn’t screen it for critics until Thursday Night, something they do to avoid bad reviews in newspapers. They didn’t have much faith in this product, and for good reason.
I hated the cheesy late ’80s TV series on which this is supposed to be based. At the time, I couldn’t watch more than ten minutes before I changed channels. This “remake” or, rather, warped “reboot” of that awful series isn’t better. It’s worse. And it has nothing to do with the original, except the gratuitous cameos by three of the originals, Johnny Depp, Holly Robinson Peete, and Peter DeLuise.
This is supposed to be a comedy, but it’s not funny. Just cringe- and groan-worthy. Jonah Hill stars in, wrote, and executive produced this movie. So, maybe it’s a hint that he should stick to acting. This makes his raunchy “Superbad” (read my review) look like highbrow fare.
Hill and Channing Tatum play cops who are misfits and failures. Tatum is dumb. And Hill is a coward and not physically able. When they fail to foil a motorcycle drug ring after forgetting the Miranda (Tatum) warning and being too lame to shoot at one of them, the two of them are kicked out of the regular police force and sent to “21 Jump Street,” an undercover police outfit that infiltrates high schools to take down crime rings. Oh, and it’s run by Ice Cube. Hey, isn’t he the rapper creep of “F–k Tha Police” fame? Yup. Now, despite that, he gets to play one in a crappy movie. Only in America.
While there were a very few funny lines, the movie was filthy and gross. The only good thing about it was that it mocked liberal, left-wing high school students. They were politically correct and environmentally conscious. And they were also running a drug ring.
Still, that tiny source of solace wasn’t enough to justify this piece of crap. But I’m not the target audience for this excrement. It’s aimed at 20-something guys and teen kids whose moronic parents are more sperm and womb/egg donors and want so badly to be their kids’ friends that they will allow them to see this. It’s rated “r” for many stark reasons.
A great Al-Qaeda recruitment video, the message of which is: see, I told you the West is comprised of a bunch of depraved idiots.
Just remember: everyone in and connected to this movie probably voted for Obama. And they’ll probably vote for him again in November.
FOUR MARXES PLUS A BIN LADEN
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Jeff, Who Lives at Home“: The movie centers on a 30-something unemployed, pot-smoking slacker, Jeff (Jason Segel), who lives in his mother’s (Susan “I am the One Percent Posing as the 99 Percent” Sarandon) basement and his irresponsible, married brother (Ed Helms). One day, Jeff keeps hearing and seeing the name, “Kevin,” and so he follows everything with that name. Ultimately, it turns out that this loser toker has a mission and is something of a hero. PUH-LEEZE. We see a million slacker loser guys just like this in our prolonged childhood society. None of them is on a “mission from G-d.” None is a hero. They are weights on society, pulling it down.
The last time I liked a lazy, pot-smoking toker at the movies, it was Jeff Spicoli (in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”). But you rooted for him because there was no pretense of some guy on a G-dly mission. The guys in this movie? Who cares.
Ditto for everyone else in the flick. Skip it.
TWO-AND-A-HALF MARXES
Watch the trailer . . .
No great shakes at the box office this weekend. Here’s what debuts today in theaters today:
* “21 Jump Street“: If you believe that a severed penis is funny, this is your movie. If you believe that a severed penis in a man’s mouth is even funnier, this is definitely your movie. For everyone else who actually has a sense of humor–and a sense of taste and decency to go along with it–skip this. It’s disgusting, vile, stupid, and repeats the same jokes and gags over and over. And here’s a hint that it sucked: the studio didn’t screen it for critics until Thursday Night, something they do to avoid bad reviews in newspapers. They didn’t have much faith in this product, and for good reason.
I hated the cheesy late ’80s TV series on which this is supposed to be based. At the time, I couldn’t watch more than ten minutes before I changed channels. This “remake” or, rather, warped “reboot” of that awful series isn’t better. It’s worse. And it has nothing to do with the original, except the gratuitous cameos by three of the originals, Johnny Depp, Holly Robinson Peete, and Peter DeLuise.
This is supposed to be a comedy, but it’s not funny. Just cringe- and groan-worthy. Jonah Hill stars in, wrote, and executive produced this movie. So, maybe it’s a hint that he should stick to acting. This makes his raunchy “Superbad” (read my review) look like highbrow fare.
Hill and Channing Tatum play cops who are misfits and failures. Tatum is dumb. And Hill is a coward and not physically able. When they fail to foil a motorcycle drug ring after forgetting the Miranda (Tatum) warning and being too lame to shoot at one of them, the two of them are kicked out of the regular police force and sent to “21 Jump Street,” an undercover police outfit that infiltrates high schools to take down crime rings. Oh, and it’s run by Ice Cube. Hey, isn’t he the rapper creep of “F–k Tha Police” fame? Yup. Now, despite that, he gets to play one in a crappy movie. Only in America.
While there were a very few funny lines, the movie was filthy and gross. The only good thing about it was that it mocked liberal, left-wing high school students. They were politically correct and environmentally conscious. And they were also running a drug ring.
Still, that tiny source of solace wasn’t enough to justify this piece of crap. But I’m not the target audience for this excrement. It’s aimed at 20-something guys and teen kids whose moronic parents are more sperm and womb/egg donors and want so badly to be their kids’ friends that they will allow them to see this. It’s rated “r” for many stark reasons.
A great Al-Qaeda recruitment video, the message of which is: see, I told you the West is comprised of a bunch of depraved idiots.
Just remember: everyone in and connected to this movie probably voted for Obama. And they’ll probably vote for him again in November.
FOUR MARXES PLUS A BIN LADEN
Watch the trailer . . .
* “Jeff, Who Lives at Home“: The movie centers on a 30-something unemployed, pot-smoking slacker, Jeff (Jason Segel), who lives in his mother’s (Susan “I am the One Percent Posing as the 99 Percent” Sarandon) basement and his irresponsible, married brother (Ed Helms). One day, Jeff keeps hearing and seeing the name, “Kevin,” and so he follows everything with that name. Ultimately, it turns out that this loser toker has a mission and is something of a hero. PUH-LEEZE. We see a million slacker loser guys just like this in our prolonged childhood society. None of them is on a “mission from G-d.” None is a hero. They are weights on society, pulling it down.
The last time I liked a lazy, pot-smoking toker at the movies, it was Jeff Spicoli (in “Fast Times at Ridgemont High”). But you rooted for him because there was no pretense of some guy on a G-dly mission. The guys in this movie? Who cares.
Ditto for everyone else in the flick. Skip it.
TWO-AND-A-HALF MARXES
Watch the trailer . . .
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