Kids Nag, Parents Cave In

I wanted to send you this story to let you know how children are being marketed to these days. If you know anyone with children, you might want to forward this to them as a warning.

Kids nag, parents cave
“They realize that it’s our habit that if they ask again, that after enough times, ‘Mom, please, I didn’t get to do it … I haven’t seen so and so in so long,’ then… you’ll give in.”
– Kris Lee, mother of eight
Whether Colin wants a bigger mini-bike or his sister Sarah wants to go out with friends, they use the same approach.
“I ask, and if she says no, I’ll ask [again and again,]” says Sarah, 14.
“Maybe five times, but you can kind of tell if they’re gonna give in or not,” says Colin, 16.
According to a study by the Center for a New American Dream, a Maryland-based consumer group, a survey of 750 families found that if a child gets a “no” but keeps asking for a product seen on television, by the ninth time the average parent will give in to the demand.
For busy, tired parents, it’s simply easier to say yes.
“They realize that it’s our habit that if they ask again, that after enough times, ‘Mom, please, I didn’t get to do it … I haven’t seen so and so in so long,’ then… you’ll give in,” says Kris Lee, the mother of Colin and Sarah.
But psychologist Tony Levitas says that when parents constantly cave in, kids learn a damaging lesson.
“In the big picture of things, it creates a society of budding narcissists who think they’re entitled to whatever they want,” he says.
Experts recommend that parents make a clear rule – no means no. After that, if a kid keeps asking, they should enforce the consequences – loss of a privilege or a timeout.
“I would have the parent sit down with the child and say, “Look, I know we’ve been doing it this way for a while, but I don’t think that’s a good thing for you, and this is what we’re gonna do now … and we need you to respect what we say, and if you don’t, this is what’s gonna happen,’” Levitas says.
Sarah says she knows she has to change her ways.
“It’s not a very good habit to have when you’re getting older because you keep on asking the same question … people will be like ‘No, I already said that,’” she says.
Tips for Parents
Television advertising may have more of an effect on your child than you realize, according to a survey released by the Center for a New American Dream (CNAD). The consumer group, which polled more than 750 families with children between the ages of 12 and 17, found that if children continually ask for a product they have seen on television, parents will likely give in on the ninth attempt, even after eight straight “no’s.” Consider these additional findings from the survey:
More than 10% of “tweens” – kids aged 12 or 13 – will ask their parents more than 50 times for stuff they see in television ads.
Nearly a third of kids surveyed said they felt pressured to pressure their parents for items like clothes, shoes and CDs because their friends had them.
Approximately 53% of kids aged 12 to 17 said buying certain products made them feel better about themselves. That number jumped to 62% among 12- and 13-year-olds.
About 81% said they routinely ask parents for money or permission to buy a product, even though 40% said they knew before asking that the answer would be no.
Six in 10 kids are prepared to keep nagging, and 55% said this strategy usually pays off in the long run.
Among kids who said they’d asked for products their parents disapproved of, 59% said they felt if they didn’t give up, they’d win. Kids 12 and 13 years old were more likely to aggressively pursue the “nag factor.”
CNAD says that advertisers and retailers are targeting kids through television because youth aged 12 to 19 spend or influence spending $155 billion a year. Consider these additional statistics about kids, money and advertising cited by the National Institute on Media and the Family:
The average American child views 20,000 television ads per year (2,000 of which are for beer and wine).
Children as young as age 3 recognize brand logos, with brand loyalty influence starting at age 2.
Young children are not able to distinguish between commercials and television programs. They do not recognize that commercials are trying to sell something.
And the influence of advertising on children is even documented in a study, published in the Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics, showing that children who watch less television make significantly fewer demands for toys.
How are advertisers targeting your child? The Center for Media Literacy cites the following common advertising strategies may influence the degree to which your child may nag you to purchase a particular product:
Ideal Kids: The kids in commercials are often a little older and a little more perfect than the target audience of the ad. They are, in other words, role models for what the advertiser wants children in the target audience to think they want to be like. A commercial that is targeting 8 year olds, for instance, will show 11- or 12-year-old models playing with an 8-year-old’s toy.
Heart Strings: Commercials often create an emotional ambience that draws you into the advertisement and makes you feel good. The McDonald’s commercials featuring father and daughter eating out together, or the AT&T Reach Out and Touch Someone ads are good examples. We are more attracted to products that make us feel good.
Amazing Toys: Many toy commercials show their toys in life-like fashion, doing incredible things. Airplanes do loop-the-loops and cars do wheelies, dolls cry and spring-loaded missiles hit gorillas dead in the chest. But many of the toys never perform in this manner.
Life-like Settings: Barbie struts her stuff on the beach with waves crashing in the background, space aliens fly through dark outer space and all-terrain vehicles leap over rivers and trenches. The rocks, dirt, sand and water don’t come with the toys, however.
Sounds Good: Music and other sound effects add to the excitement of commercials. Sound can make toys seem more life-like or less life-like, as in a music video. Either way, they help set the mood advertisers want.
Cute Trademark Personalities: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sell pizza. Spuds McKenzie sells beer. “Joe Cool” camel used to sell cigarettes. All of these ads are ways of helping children identify with products either now or for the future.
Selective Editing: Selective editing is used in all commercials but especially in commercials for athletic toys like Frisbees or footballs. Commercials show only brilliant catches and perfect throws. Unfortunately, that’s not the way most children experience these toys.
Family Fun: “This is something the whole family can do together!” or “This is something Mom will be glad to buy for you.” Many commercials show parents enjoying their children’s fun as if the toy will bring more family togetherness.
Excitement: Watch the expressions on children’s faces. The children never appear to be bored. How can your child help thinking the toy’s great?
Star Power: Sports heroes, movie stars and teenage heartthrobs tell children what to eat and what to wear. Children listen, not realizing that the star is paid handsomely for the endorsement.
If your younger child develops a habit of nagging, you can take several steps to curb the undesirable and often materialistic behavior. The National Parent Information Network offers the following tips:
Set a good example. At this age, kids still look up to their parents more than to their peers, so you’re the best role model for helping your child cope with a complicated material world. If you want to discourage him or her from developing an insatiable appetite for possessions, let him or her see you behaving with restraint and wisdom. Enjoy window-shopping together without buying anything to show that while it’s fun to look at store displays and gather ideas for gifts and other purchases, you don’t need to buy something every time you go to a store.
Turn off the television. Advertising is everywhere in our culture, but television probably wields the greatest influence on children, who watch commercials as avidly as they watch programs. Toy company executives know that children are forces affecting their parents’ buying decisions, and they advertise relentlessly during children’s programs. Limit your child’s exposure to television commercials, and he or she will be less likely to develop a lengthy wish list.
Don’t fulfill every request. Children who get everything they ask for don’t learn to handle disappointment, and they don’t learn to work – or even just wait – for items they desire. Do yourself and your child a favor by saying no to unending requests, even if that provokes tantrums in the toy store at first. Enlist the aid of friends and grandparents – who often delight in “spoiling” your child – by suggesting they buy only one gift at birthdays or holidays, instead of half a dozen.
Teach your child about money. Grade-schoolers can learn about the value of possessions by paying for them themselves. Giving your child an allowance provides him or her with cash and you with the opportunity to teach your child how to use it.
Show an appreciation for the deeper value of things. Your child can learn that you appreciate objects not for how costly or trendy they are but for their inherent quality or sentimental value – “This chair means a lot to me because it was Grandma’s when she was little.” Your child may not begin to adopt your reasoning right away, but over time he or she will see that popularity and high price tags aren’t the only factors that make objects beloved, and that quality is better than quantity.
The American Academy of Pediatrics says that you can help your older child or teen understand how advertisers influence the desire to purchase a product by teaching him or her these basic points about media education:
People create media messages. Any media message, whether it’s a magazine article or a television talk show, is created by a team of people. Those people write it, decide what pictures to use and what elements to omit. All of these things give the message a purpose.
Each media form uses its own language. Newspapers make headlines large to attract readers to certain stories. Media with sound may use music to make people feel a range of emotions. When your child learns about these techniques, he or she is able to understand how a message is delivered instead of only being affected by it.
No two people experience the same media message in exactly the same way. How a person interprets a message depends on aspects unique to that person’s life. These can include age, values, memories and education.
Media messages have their own values and points of view. These are built into the message itself. Your child should compare the promoted values against his or her own values. It is important for your child to learn that he or she has a choice in whether to accept the values that are being promoted in any media message.
References -Look these up yourself!!!
American Academy of Pediatrics
Center for a New American Dream
Center for Media Literacy
Journal of Developmental and Behavioral Pediatrics
National Institute on Media and the Family
National Parent Information Network