Showing posts with label Penelope Cruz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Penelope Cruz. Show all posts

Monday, July 9, 2012

Wknd Box Office: Savages, Woman in the Fifth, To Rome With Love, New “Amazing Spider-Man” Movie Not Bad

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/ reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post some of the movies from last week and THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed! This all follows this post about guidelines to chosing good movies to watch yourself!

Wknd Box Office: Savages, Woman in the Fifth, To Rome With Love


By Debbie Schlussel



I really liked one of the three new movies at theaters, this weekend. The Oliver Stone flick is just plain horrid. I chose not to see nor will I review the Katy Perry shameless self-promotion movie, since I loathe her and her heavy marketing to kids (with inappropriate songs, like “I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It”), and she has not distanced herself enough from her absolute clown of a father, despite his starkly anti-Semitic comments.



* “Savages“: The title aptly describes the truly warped, damaged minds of far-left, America-hating, verminous director/HAMAS fan/Hitler devotee Oliver Stone and ANYONE having anything to do with the production of this absolute garbage. I feel like my mind was raped by this vile creature’s pointless exercise in over two hours of extremely brutal torture porn. The movie is an attempt at hate commentary on America. Yes, only those who hate this great country and wish to show it as the dregs of earth, would produce this malodorous fecal material of cinematic screed. If you don’t hate Oliver Stone with a vengeance, you should. You have to recall his long line of America-hating movies, including those defaming our troops as drug dealers and scum, to not conclude that this is the absolute worst of a long history of dog poop on screen (though it might be). When I walked out, all I could think was, “Uck Foliver Stone.” I hate this absolute waste of human skin. I shudder to think that American soldiers die for this schmuck’s right to make this. It’s hardly a fair trade. Not even close. This is one of the worst–if not THE WORST–movies I’ve ever seen as a movie critic. I’m not sure what the point of this is other than to show two hours and ten minutes of graphic violence, dismemberment, and rough sex scenes . . . and defame America. The word, “depraved,” is the understatement of the year for this horrible movie.



A sample of what you see: one of the main characters is forced to throw a torch on the gasoline-saturated body of another character, burning him alive. His girlfriend, who was raped by a Mexican drug dealer and with whom he shares with his best friend in a menage-a-trois is forced to watch on video as he does this. I missed the critics’ screening for this and went to see last night’s midnight showing. Sadly, the theater was packed with the dumb idiots of America who all raved over this “masterpiece” as they were leaving. Now if you want to make a true ode to the bad things about America, that would be the film: these minds of absolute mush, most of whom were in their late teens and 20-somethings and think that killing and gay-esque threesome sex scenes are what’s good and decent about this country. More proof that the saying that there’s no accounting for good taste in America is more true than ever and becoming ever more so as time moves on. This movie is yet another exhibit of America’s absolute moral decline. After being fed a steady diet of halal crap like this, it’s no wonder Stone’s son converted to Islam in Iran. No doubt, his son had a lifetime of lectures from daddy that this is what America is about.







“Savages” Director Oliver Stone w/ Ramallah HAMAS Chief Hassan Yussef











“Savages” Director Oliver Stone Echoes Views of Best Bud Yasser Arafat



The “story”: two drug dealers–pals since high school–are living in a fabulous house off the beach with their girlfriend. Yes, they share her and have threesomes. Oh, and they make sure to tell you that one of the drug dealers served in the U.S. military in Afghanistan, where he found the seeds for the best marijuana. And Stone wants to make sure that you know he became a brutally violent killing machine because he served in the U.S. military. The other drug dealer is a hippie-type free spirit who uses the drug-dealing to fund a foundation which feeds and educates poor people (many in Muslim hijabs) around the world. So, hey, drug-dealing must be okay, right? ‘Cuz it’s “humanitarian.” Riiiight.



But a Mexicana drug kingpin (Salma Hayek) wants their drug business. And they have only two choices: merge or die. When they plan to flee the country, the drug kingpin kidnaps the girlfriend, played by Black Lively. I’m not sure why there is so much praise and hype over Blake Lively since, as this movie and others demonstrate, her only talents are the two acting gigs most women can do far better: fake moaning during sex and crying. And she does it a lot here. A corrupt top DEA agent, played by an evermore calorically-gifted John Travolta, is on the take and helps all of the rival drug dealers in the movie, in exchange for bribes. John Revolting is a more fitting name, since he and this movie are both that in spades.



Anyone who finds this entertaining should be lobotomized (or perhaps already has been) and locked up forever. Watching this was sheer torture. If you love America and have any sense of decency, you will SKIP THIS tripe.



TEN MARXES PLUS FIVE BIN LADENS [OFF THE SCALE]


* “The Woman in the Fifth [La Femme du Veme]“: I enjoyed this movie because I like mysterious thrillers that don’t answer all the questions and leave something to the imagination, forcing the viewer to think and ponder afterward about what really happened. But this does a little too much of that, and gives you almost no clue what really happened. It’s good to leave some loose ends. This one leaves so many that, ultimately, the movie unravels. Still, it was entertaining. And filled with suspense. This is definitely not a snoozer. So much happens in this movie that it’s hard to believe it was just a quick 85 minutes. It speeds by, as any good movie does.



A barely recognizable Ethan Hawke plays an American professor and formerly successful novelist who is down on his luck and struggling to make a comeback and get his life together. He’s come to Paris to re-unite with his estranged wife and young daughter. But the wife wants him out of her life and has a restraining order against him. He has just returned from a long stay in a prison or mental hospital (or both). And the Paris we see is the underbelly of the city, mostly dark, depressing, and ugly. Since his wallet and belongings were stolen and he has no money anyway, he stays at a mysterious cheap motel run by a Muslim Arab, who generously allows him to stay for free. But it soon becomes apparent that there are strings attached. He is enlisted by the Muslim to work nights at a mysterious underground room, allowing various men entry, during which he hears screaming and violence coming from various rooms and wonders what is going on. Clearly it’s illicit and illegal. And his love life is complicated, too. While he is developing an affair with a young Polish girl who works at the motel, he is also sleeping with an older Hungarian woman (Kristin Scott Thomas) he meets at a party, who is sort of like an informal guru. And eventually, he is framed for a brutal crime. But nothing is as it seems. Or is it? When it ends, the movie leaves you guessing. About a lot.



This is in mostly in French with English subtitles. As I noted, it’s quite entertaining, but leaves you wondering a little too much. Definitely an adult movie and not for kids. If you like your movies all wrapped up neatly and tied in a bow at the end, this isn’t for you. For everyone with imagination, curiosity, and wonder, you might like this.



TWO-AND-A-HALF REAGANS




* “To Rome With Love“: This is not one of Woody Allen’s best movies. Not even close. It’s entertaining enough, but kind of boring and it simply doesn’t have the sharpness and tight plot of Allen’s other contemporary movies. In comparison to those, it’s dull. Still, there is good commentary in it against Communism (which Allen needs to tell his mirror, not us), statements regarding the absurdity of fame and fandom, and other issues.



There are four storylines in the movie, which takes place in Rome, as indicated by the title. There is an Italian clerk (the one-note Roberto Benigni) who is working-class and unattractive. Suddenly, he becomes famous for no apparent reason. He is followed by the press, beautiful women have sex with him, and he is invited to movie previews. His shaving sessions and meals are the topics of feverish media coverage. Then, there is a couple (Jesse Eisenberg and Greta Gerwig) who live in Rome and are visited by the woman’s best friend, Ellen Page. Soon, the guy is taken with her and cheats on his girlfriend with her, and he takes advice from his cynical imaginary friend, Alec Baldwin. And then there is the neurotic American couple (Woody Allen and Judy Davis) visiting the parents of the Italian guy their daughter has fallen in love with. The Italian father has a terrific singing voice in the shower, and Allen, a retired Opera producer/promoter, wants to get him into showbiz and singing opera. But he is reluctant, as he enjoys being a mortician. Finally, there is a couple of newlyweds, who become separated. He hires a prostitute (Penelope Cruz) to pretend she’s his wife at business and family meetings, but she’s dressed as a hooker. And the bride meets her favorite married movie star, who wants to have sex with her.



See, there’s no earth-shattering stuff here. Nothing new, nothing interesting. But a lot of funny lines. Mildly entertaining and fine if you have nothing else to do and want an okay time at the movies.



Best line in the movie: Woody Allen announces, “I was never a Communist. I could never share a bathroom.” Well, now Woody, you know how we feel about Obamacare.



HALF A REAGAN

New “Amazing Spider-Man” Movie Not Bad


By Debbie Schlussel



The Spiderman reboot, “The Amazing Spider-Man” is in theaters today. And it’s not bad. There’s nothing offensive about it (except that Spidey’s aunt and uncle–who look like his grandparents–are uber-liberals Martin Sheen and Sally Field), and it’s fine to take your kids and whole family to see it. It’s far better than the last Spiderman movie, in which Spiderman does a ridiculous dance at a night club (read my review). It’s entertaining and what you’d expect and have already seen: a guy gets bitten by a spider and soon has amazing powers to shoot webs and velcro himself to tall buildings. It’s not the greatest superhero movie, but it was workmanlike, and I enjoyed it most of the time.









In this movie, he–Peter Parker–is Andrew Garfield, of whom I’m not normally a fan because he’s kind of dull. But he is fine here, and I like him better than the previous Spiderman, Tobey Maguire. I like his love interest, played by Emma Stone, far better than the proud pothead actress dullard, Kirsten Dunst, who played the love interest in the previous Spiderman movie.











Peter Parker is a high school nerd who gets bitten by a spider in the basement and soon discovers he has these amazing powers: super tactile strength and the ability to shoot webs and climb all over the place. He beats up the high school bully and starts to romance the New York police chief’s daughter, Stone. In the meantime, he’s still trying to get over and wrap his head around the plane crash that took his parents after they mysteriously packed up and left him with his aunt and uncle when he was little. He wants to know why they left in a hurry. While searching the Internet, he finds a doctor who was a colleague of his father’s, and is now working for a corporation that bio-engineers the DNA of spiders and other beings. The doctor is missing an arm and desperately wants to find a way to grow a new one the way that lizards grow new tails. But there are no human trials, and his boss at the corporation pressures him.



Soon there is a giant lizard-like villain versus Spiderman. But the lizard looks and acts a little too much like the Hulk, to me. That’s where things got a little messy and too much. But it’s overall a good forumulaic superhero movie. It isn’t spectacular. But it’s pretty good for what it’s trying to do–reboot a franchise that went silly and stale. The sets and lighting are a lot darker than the last Spiderman, too.



This was missing some of the magic and spark I expect from a good superhero movie. But compared to the many crappy, raunchy, silly movies I’ve seen coming out of Hollywood, this summer, this one looks like a masterpiece. It’s not too violent and there’s no sex. I saw this in 3-D, but you won’t miss anything if you just see it in regular 2-D.



TWO REAGANS










Monday, May 23, 2011

Wknd Box Office: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Forks Over Knives, Greatest Movie Ever Sold

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/  reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post some of the movies from last week and  THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed!  This all  follows this post about guidelines to chosing good movies to watch yourself!

Wknd Box Office: Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, Forks Over Knives, Greatest Movie Ever Sold


By Debbie Schlussel



Ironically, the vegan propaganda documentary was this weekend’s most interesting new flick.











* “Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides“: Nothing really objectionable about this movie, but it was just boring, long, messy, and confusing. Also, I thought a few brief scenes might be kind of scary to young kids at whom Disney is marketing this, despite the PG-13 rating. And there are some veiled–and not-so-veiled–sexual references and allusions, which would be fine . . . in a pirate movie for adults. You have the usual action, stunts, special effects, etc. But I’m not sure why it was in 3-D. Certainly didn’t need to be. There was no great 3-D stuff here.



Johnny Depp is back as pirate Captain Jack Sparrow, while some of the dull people are finally gone, including Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, who aren’t in this. Instead, there’s Penelope Cruz, who isn’t much of an improvement. At the beginning, Sparrow is trying to evade English authorities, including the King and then finds himself on a ship with Cruz, a past girlfriend he deflowered at a nunnery. She is apparently the daughter of Blackbeard, the pirate captain of the ship to which Depp was kidnapped and put to work. Blackbeard is old, and like the King of England, some Spaniards and others, they are now seeking the Fountain of Youth. Even if they find it, they must mix the Fountain’s water with a mermaid’s tear. But, see, the mermaids are really vampires, and we see them mercilessly biting into and killing pirates trying to get such a tear.



As I said, this movie is fine, but not exciting. It’s very drawn out and isn’t a tight story or one that’s easily followed or enjoyed. It’s simply baby-sitting material that isn’t probably for kids younger than 11. After three installments of the Pirates series–which is, after all, based on an amusement park ride–this pirate story is getting old. This attempt to breathe new life into it is just okay, not spectacular. Not even close.



HALF A REAGAN

* “Forks Over Knives“: I have mixed feelings about this very interesting documentary that is animal rights propaganda costumed as an educated health report. There are some good points in it, while many questions remain unanswered. The movie advocates a vegan diet, though I don’t remember if I even heard that word once in the movie because it has deservedly negative connotations and conjures up images of radicals in cork shoes and black gothwear. Instead, this movie uses the euphemism, “plant-based diet.” But make no mistake–the people in the movie are likeable. This isn’t Michael Moore in-your-face obnoxious fare. I enjoyed watching it even if I disagreed and questioned it.



For the record, I eat a mostly plant-based diet with very limited inclusion of red meat, chicken and eggs (only very occasionally), but I drink milk and eat yogurt, which, according to this movie, cause all kinds of cancer and degenerative disease because of high levels of casein. And there are animal-based proteins, such as lutein (found in egg yolks) , and bacteria, such as lactobacillus, from yogurt, that are more difficult to garner from vegetables, fruits, and grains. The movie didn’t really address this, or the matter of fish, which I also eat (a lot of salmon), and which the participants in a diet featured in this movie, did not.



The movie follows people in poor health who follow a vegan diet as prescribed by two 70-something doctors who are in terrific health. Caldwell Esselstyn, Jr., M.D. and T. Colin Campbell, Ph.D. have done a series of studies, including Campbell’s extensive “China Project,” using data from the Chinese population to account for low levels of cancers in the Chinese population versus much higher levels of cancers in the American people. They concluded that the primary cause is animal fats and proteins.



They have a point, and that’s why I eat less animal protein. But I’m not convinced it’s necessary to cut it out entirely, something even the Chinese didn’t do. I like a good steak once a year, and I love to eat salmon, tuna, and a few other varieties of fish. I probably eat two burgers a year, but it would be tough for me to cut out cereal with milk or an occasional kosher shawarmeh sandwich (which I have maybe twice a year). Chicken soup with matzoh ball–does that really make a person more cancer prone? I thought it was Jewish penicillin, even though I only have it a few times a year. The movie doesn’t address people like me who frequently eat fish and enjoy a very low-fat chicken broth once in a while. I also wondered what role exercise–both aerobic and weight-bearing played–versus no animal protein in reducing disease. The movie doesn’t address that either, though advocating exercise.



The movie makes some interesting points that have been borne out, such as that doctors who make revolutionary claims through their studies and lab work are often ostracized and pilloried by the established medical community. That has frequently happened in cancer research, etc.



But other claims in the movie were questionable and even outright false. We’re told that people in the rest of the world are starving because grain goes to cows so we in the West can eat them. But the starving kid picture they showed doesn’t obscure the reality that the reason many children are starving around the world is that their governments refuse to distribute the grain we send them. Or they simply don’t have capitalist economies, so grain isn’t plentiful because profit is limited and/or seized by government intervention. Companies that grow grain for cattle feed might simply stop growing it if we didn’t eat beef.



A comparison of breast cancer rates in Kenya versus those in the U.S. isn’t a fair comparison. The U.S. has Hispanics and Jews–both of which have a high incidence of the inherited breast-cancer causing gene, BRCA2. Kenya has neither of these nationalities in any significant number. The movie does say–and other scientists have found this–that your lifestyle is a more dominant predictor than genes, regarding how your health will turn out. I believe that. With my family history, I must.



I also didn’t believe the wondrous claims the movie puts forth that, for example, going on a vegan diet will reverse breast cancer, as the movie contends that it did with a marathoner woman who is 58 years old. I found that an irresponsible presentation that will unnecessarily get up the hopes of some dying people stricken with the disease.



Anytime you see a movie that includes the appearance of the radical PCRM (Physicians Committee for Responsible Medicine)–which is basically the Medical Doctors’ arm of PETA–you have to doubt its veracity. But the point about which a PCRM official appears is definitely an important one: sunshine on the identities of those at the USDA who formulate the food pyramid and which big agricultural and food companies are paying them.



Yes, it’s probably not a good idea to eat high-calorie, cheese-laden pizza and steaks covered in sauce every meal. But if you vary your diet and eat everything in moderation and get off your butt and get some fresh air on a regular basis, you’ll probably be okay. That’s what my parents taught me, and it–thank G-d–has worked so far. I’ll probably eat even less animal protein after seeing some of the studies in this movie. But I’m not gonna let propaganda push me to become a vegan. Animals were made for human consumption. And, for the foreseeable future, that ain’t gonna change. Nor should it.



Nonetheless, this makes an interesting, engaging presentation, and even though there are holes in it, I recommend seeing it. But only if you are a critical thinker like I am. It’s food for thought, and I recommend seeing it, though with a critical eye, and that’s why I must still give it . . .



TWO TOFURKEYS


* “The Greatest Movie Ever Sold“: More like the greatest bore and exercise in self-indulgence ever sold by vastly over-rated, far-left, pan-Muslim, pro-Palestinian snake oil salesman Morgan Spurlock. I can sum up this movie in one run-on sentence: Me, Me, Me, Me, Morgan Spurlock, Me, Watch Me Learn Marketing 101, Me, Me, Me, Hey Did You Know Companies Pay Money to Have Products in Movies, Wow, Who Knew, Plastic Surgery Victim Lynda Resnick Who Owns POM Wonderful, Noam Chomsky, Ralph Nader, Boring, Yawnworthy, Me, Me, Me.



Yup, Morgan Spurlock, who has zero ideas, is boring and wants to find ways to get paid millions to make you watch his boring discovery of America, sliced bread, ‘lectricity, and shoes. His last bomb, the boring, Islamo-pandering “Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden?” (read my review), should have been the end of his career. (And now we know the answer to that, which we didn’t get from this creep, Spurlock.) It was the same crap–watch me, me, me, me. Now we have this to add to the Morgan trash can.



Hey, did you know that companies pay millions of dollars to get their products inserted into movies and TV shows? Wow, I never knew, just like I didn’t know there were toilets, cars, and computers. Hey, thanks for the tip, Morgan.



You’ll have to ask billionairess plastic surgery victim Lynda Resnick (owner of Fiji Water and POM Wonderful) why she gave Spurlock at least a million bucks to have her product helm his lefty, waste-of-time movie. She mentions that she’s a “Jewish mother,” but apparently had no problem giving oodles of money to pan-Muslim, anti-Israel Spurlock, who won an award from the unindicted HAMAS terrorism co-conspirator, CAIR Action Network for his propaganda on behalf of Muslims and against Jews and Israel. Do Fiji Water and POM Wonderful sponsor HAMAS? In a way, both of these products now do. Great PR move, Lynda. I suppose she and her companies also endorse the views of anti-Semitic Jew Noam Chomsky and anti-Semitic Ralph Nader, both of whom are prominently embraced by this movie. Resnick declined my request for an interview. Shocker. The chick is a wimp . . . and a sell-out.



I, for one, will never buy Fiji of POM drinks again. I don’t need to fund more Lynda face procedures and Morgan dreck. How ’bout you? Plus I struggled to stay awake during Morgan’s on-air fantasy.



Spurlock, who must have lived on another planet, never heard of Mane and Tail shampoo and was surprised a shampoo markets itself to wash both human and horse hair. Um, Morgan, the ’80s called. They want their fad back. Yup, this was big then, but Spurlock is too ignorant to know . . . or try Google.



Oh, and guess what? Mr. “Supersize Me” was shocked–shocked!–that McDonald’s, Burger King, Coke, and Pepsi didn’t wanna have product placement in this. Gee, I wonder why?



Don’t waste your time on this, unless you ran out of sleeping pills and a sense of the obvious. Like I said, wow, companies pay to have product placement in films? Who knew? Um, everybody.



Morgan Spurlock doesn’t sell anything but con jobs. And he’s no salesman. Just a pimp. Skip this trick.



FOUR MARXES PLUS


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