Spring Break Reading

Here is a very interesting column to read before Spring Break. H/t www.townhall.com PS. Click through the links for some VERY interesting reading!!!

Parents Should Raise the Bar for Their Kids
Rebecca Hagelin

Spring break is in full swing for many college students across the country. And believe me, when I say "full swing," I mean full-rockin', rollin' party-hearty swinging!
But given that nearly all of these students’ lifestyles are still funded by their parents, and that nearly all are still under the legal drinking age, it makes me wonder: What are their parents thinking?
As a mom of two college men I actually find it fairly easy to boldly proclaim: "If you are livin' on my dime, then you are livin' by my rules."
My rules for them as adults are actually filled with freedom, coupled with the principle of "self government." They were raised with this consistent theme, and they understand that my husband and I practice the "abuse and lose" approach. (I.e., they have both freedom and our full support as long as they follow basic rules that provide for their safety, moral development, and future.)
Of course, I can hear the naysayers now: "But they’re adults. You can't tell adult children what to do." To this I simply answer, "BALONEY!"
I am a much-older adult, and I understand that an employer can impose certain codes and expectations for my behavior on me. That's the deal in life -- you work for someone, you have to play by their rules. (Of course I know they can't trample your basic rights, deny civil liberties, etc. So don't go there. You know what I'm talking about.)
The young college men in my life -- of whom I am so very proud and blessed to be called their "mom" -- also know that my husband and I are fully committed to them as individuals and will provide plenty of opportunities for good, safe fun.
Let's get back to Spring Break as an example. Instead of shrugging our shoulders and letting them go off to some distant beach where mayhem, alcohol and "Girls Gone Wild" abound, I booked a house at our favorite beach, which is located on a barrier island on Florida's Gulf Coast. With no bridge (you have to get here by boat) and no bars, this break is a lot safer and a lot more meaningful than what many are experiencing.
One of my dear friends has a house nearby and her daughter, also on Spring Break, has brought about nine of her "best friends" too. So, there's plenty of social activity, fun and friendship without the nonsense. The kids go back and forth between our houses, so my friend and I both get to spend time with them and listen to their entertaining -- and interesting -- chatter.
Last night the gang was at my friend's house and the main topic of conversation proved an-eye-opening, mind-numbing experience for her.
Most of the girls on this trip are freshmen, and somehow the conversation led to a shared humiliating experience now common at most college campuses: the mandatory co-ed, sex-ed course they all attended during their first few weeks on campus. They described the graphic nature of the class, and how embarrassed and outraged they were when they were shown how to put a condom on a banana.
But then it got worse -- they were all encouraged to do the condom/banana exercise, too. The girls spoke of how a couple of their fellow students seemed to take great pride at their skill in demonstrating what seemed an all-too-familiar maneuver. However, my young friends said they were mortified and left the course feeling "trashy" and belittled by administration officials who expect them to all behave like wild animals in heat. "They seemed to be encouraging us to be sexually active," one member of the volley ball team said. "I was insulted and offended by the entire experience."
This particular young co-ed had gone to a private Christian high school, so she had managed to escape the low expectations that many educators bring to today's youth. She and her mom weren’t aware that in today's public schools, millions of boys and girls are now, indeed, treated as if they are going to be sex-crazed creatures and, therefore, are actually encouraged to engage in risky behavior.
Face it: When an adult in authority stands in front of the classroom and directs graphic discussions of sex in every form, forces boys and girls to sit by each other throughout the humiliating lectures, and then further violates the child's natural tendencies to be private or modest, then you end up with kids who follow what they’ve been taught. On the other hand, when kids are treated with dignity, taught the value of abstinence, and how to avoid placing themselves in compromising situations in the first place, the research shows that more of them do, indeed, respond by adopting a lifestyle of self-control and more responsible behavior than those drowning in "sex ed". Also critical to the delayed on-set of sexual activity is parental involvement. I can not overstate the influence that loving, connected parents have on their teens and young adult children.

You'll find loads of data and research on both points at
www.abstinenceclearninghouse.com and www.familyfacts.org

Which, once again, brings me back to the plethora of wild Spring Break "pah-tays" going on around the country as you read this. I wonder: if more public junior high and high schools joined hands with more parents in teaching abstinence education, the concepts of self-worth and basic morality, wouldn’t our nation's kids have a higher view of themselves and rise to meet the expectations?
And if colleges and parents expected better of our kids, wouldn’t more of them choose the higher ground? If more parents took the effort to provide safer -- but still "way fun" -- supervised beach trips and other options for college kids, would more of them opt for something other than the drunken orgies that many Spring Break trips have become? In short, are older adults getting exactly the type of behavior from young adults that we expect?
Granted, my personal "focus group" is small. But the data, my experience, and the e-mails I receive from thousands of people tell me this: Young adults are still malleable, still looking for direction, and still crave to rise above the status quo. But they need help and encouragement. They need to be told that they can be self-controlled people of strong character, and they need to be provided with opportunities to thrive, have fun, and become men and women they can be proud of.
Young adults rise or fall to the expectation levels set for them. Will you help raise the bar?

Two Books on the Dangers of Immorality

I sent an e-mail about morality here http://brianleesblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/two-books-on-morality-worth-looking-at.html and in this e-mail I wanted to let you know about some of the dangers of immorality that aren't always being covered as well as some of the dangers that misguided reforms have cost. I think you'll find these interesting and you can get them at the library or bookstore if you'd like.

http://www.amazon.com/Epidemic-How-Teen-Killing-Kids/dp/089526143X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225225116&sr=1-1

Finally, the facts.,
By A CustomerAs a teacher who works with both junior and senior high aged kids, I have longed for a book that tells the hard truth about teenaged sex. Finally, I have found it. This isn't just a book for parents, this is a book that kids should at least be exposed to. They deserve the truth that we have failed to give them. For too long we believed we were protecting them by giving them birth control and they believed us (as an establishment). Now we are just beginning to glimpse the true scope of the problem that will face us over the next 5-20 years and beyond if this situation isn't addressed and reversed. I encourage parents and teachers who want facts that will stand up and speak for themselves without being preachy - get this book. Read it. Pass it on to your friends, talk about it with your kids and your students, carry it with you on the subway. Are the numbers harsh, do the stories turn your stomach? Yes, this book is not a 'fun' read. And good for Meg Meeker. http://www.amazon.com/Ceasefire-Women-Forces-Achieve-Equality/dp/0684834421/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1225225712&sr=1-1

A thoughtful debunking of destructive gender based myths.
By A CustomerIt is symptomatic of the times that any criticism of feminist orthodoxy can only be delivered by a woman. Even then, any hint of allegiance to conservative politics is an automatic disqualifier. It labels one as a reactionary mouthpiece for the alleged forces of patriarchy. Fortunately, there are a growing number of young women challenging feminism's victim-cult politics. Unfortunately, contemporary pioneers for sanity in gender politics such as Rene Denfeld and Christina Hoff Sommers are not likely to get equal time - if they get any at all - in university women's studies departments. Equally so, Cathy Young, a regular columnist for the Detroit News and contributor to Reason Magazine, is not likely to hit the recommended reading lists of those with a partisan interest in the exploitation male female differences. As the title Ceasfire! suggests, the gender war has gone too far and, as Young exhaustively documents within its covers, damaged too many innocents.Young's conclusions are pragmatic. Her twelve proposals are directed toward balance, not vindication of any particular viewpoint. The theme is the de-politicization of gender issues, but one does not ask for balance unless the status quo is skewed, and Young is clear about that. We need to get along. Women have sons and husbands; daughters have fathers and brothers - our issues are family ones. We are the same species.

But radical feminism cannot maintain its cohesion without an enemy. That is why Young's friend and colleague Christina Hoff Sommers once warned, "When feminists quote statistics, reach for your common sense." The "its always his fault attitude" is the mantra of a movement that doesn't want peace. That is the balloon Young seeks to puncture.
Popular media seldom probes for deeper truth. Whether that is due to political ideology, a lemming-like like tendency to follow the herd, or the rushed atmosphere of daily production, false and misleading examples of advocacy research are too often presented as authoritative. Its is a straight line from an interest group press release to the front page - once there, falsehood is elevated to truth. Young has produced a comprehensive counterpoint to the standard wisdom. She wants us to "Get the facts straight." Ceasfire! is directed toward those who prefer truth and insight over perjury and manipulation.