Showing posts with label Divergent. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Divergent. Show all posts

Monday, March 21, 2016

Wknd Box Office: Remember, Hello My Name Is Doris, Miracles From Heaven, The Bronze, The Confirmation, The Divergent Series: Allegiant Part 1

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/ reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post about some of the movies from last week and THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed! This all follows this post about guidelines to choosing good movies to watch yourself!

 

Wknd Box Office: Remember, Hello My Name Is Doris, Miracles From Heaven, The Bronze, The Confirmation, The Divergent Series: Allegiant Part 1

By Debbie Schlussel
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This weekend’s new offerings in theaters include one of the best thrillers I’ve ever seen and definitely one of the best of the last decade. There are some other decent movies, too (and some awful ones). Remember, you can always hear my movie reviews live, first thing every Friday morning on “The Pat Campbell Show” on KFAQ 1170 AM Tulsa at 7:35 a.m. Eastern, and on “The James Show,” on KWTX 1230 AM at 8:30 a.m. Eastern, on “The Larry The Cable Guy Show” (sometimes on Thursdays) at 10:30 a.m. Eastern on SiriusXM’s Jeff and Larry’s Comedy Roundup Channel 97, and on “The Mike Church Show” on the Veritas Radio Network/CRUSADE. I do my movie reviews on all four shows, as well as some discussion of current political issues and pop culture topics.
* Remember – Rated R: I can’t say enough good things about this spectacular movie. It blew my mind because it’s so clever and well done. I walked out of this with that rare feeling of satisfaction and awe I get when I walk out of a great movie that wows me. Aside from being a tightly crafted thriller, it’s powerful, very well written, and extremely well acted. I can’t remember another thriller I liked as much in the last decade, and I’d probably put it in my top 10 or 20 of all the thrillers I can remember seeing.
Because I’ve seen so many movies, few surprise me anymore, and I can usually predict what’s gonna happen next. But not here–there is a twist at the end of the movie I never saw coming, even though there are hints at it and plot devices I don’t want to detail here, lest I spoil the movie.
The story is suspenseful from nearly the beginning to the very end. I was on the edge of my seat the whole time. And it stars the always excellent Christopher Plummer, who–even at the age of 86–remains a sharp, crisp actor, one of the best in the biz. The same goes for 87-year-old co-star Martin Landau. The rest of the cast are also skilled, well-known American and German actors, most of them older. And this movie shows that, despite Hollywood’s focus on youth, senior citizen actors can make a compelling, exciting movie.
Plummer plays a 90-year-old Holocaust survivor, Zev (which, as the movie points out is Hebrew for “Wolf” and was my late paternal grandfather’s Hebrew name). Zev, a Holocaust survivor, lives at a Midwestern nursing home for senior citizens, where he is just finishing sitting shiva (the first seven days of mourning in Judaism) for his late wife. His friend, Max (Landau), a fellow survivor and resident of the old folks home, reminds Zev that now that his wife is gone, it’s time for him to carry out the plan he and Max made. That mysterious plan, as we soon learn, is to hunt down a surviving Nazi officer at Auschwitz who murdered most of both of their families there. The movie follows Zev as he tries to hunt down the Nazi.
But there is a wrinkle in the plan. Zev has dementia or Alzheimer’s and he frequently forgets things and forgets where he is and what he’s doing. Max writes him a letter to detail the plan, to which he has to refer. The letter is almost like a character in the movie.
Because this is a small-budget movie, it is mostly showing in arthouse movie theaters and the like. It opened last week in New York and Los Angeles. This weekend, it opened in Detroit and some other locations, and next week, it will open in Cleveland and other cities nationwide.
Director Atom Egoyan did a great job here. Go see it.
FOUR REAGANS PLUS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* Hello, My Name is Doris – Rated R: This movie creeped me out but also made me laugh. So, I have mixed feelings about it. It’s a great statement on the absurdity of hipsters, but also on the silly, sad desperation of some older women a/k/a “cougars” to date much younger men.
Sally Field, who is 69 years old, plays Doris, a dowdy, quirky employee of an advertising agency. She is also something of a hoarder and is seeing a therapist. Her mother, with whom she lived, has just died, and her brother and sister-in-law are pressuring her to clean up the clutter. Meanwhile, with her friend Roz (Tyne Daly of Cagney & Lacey fame), Doris attends self-help seminars featuring some schlocky, scammy pitch man a la Tony Robbins, who tells her she can attain anything she wants.
One day at work, a new employee–John (36-year-old Max Greenfield)–is introduced, and Doris is instantly smitten. She is soon daydreaming about making out with John. (Those scenes are gross and creepy–at least to me. Who wants to see some old woman making out with a guy young enough to be her grandson?) She is influenced by the self-help guru’s advice and thinks she can actually get this much younger man to become romantically interested in her.
Doris seeks “dating” advice on how to attract John’s interest. But the source of the advice is Roz’s 13-year-old granddaughter, who convinces Doris to create a fake Facebook profile and friend John. By looking on John’s Facebook profile, Doris learns that John likes an obscure hipster singer, so she buys the singer’s CDs, attends the singer’s concert, and “runs into” John, which she’d planned all along.
The singer sees Doris at the concert and hires her to be on the cover of his next album. Doris is a “museum exhibit” for the singer and its hipster fans, but she doesn’t get that and thinks she’s “in” with them. At one party scene, I laughed as Doris listened to a 20-something hipster chick tell her, “I teach at an LGBT pre-school. These lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender toddlers have taught me so much and changed my life.” The movie mocks other aspects of hipster and millennial stupidity and pretentiousness, including another scene in which a character tells Doris that she feels so much better now that she has “joined the LGBT knitting community.
As Doris gets more and more obsessed with John and tries to sabotage certain aspects of her life, you know that soon the chickens will come home to roost.
I liked the movie’s mockery of hipsters, millennials, and cougar grandmas who actually think they can date kids their grandchildrens’ age. But, on the other hand, I think this movie actually opened the door a little on the possibility and appropriateness of the latter, and that part I didn’t like. Newsflash: most men Max Greenfield’s age have ZERO interest in the Sally Fields of the world. Just sayin’. To pretend it could happen is just BS.
This is a quick, quirky, and entertaining movie, but very weird (and creepy).
TWO REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* Miracles From Heaven – Rated PG: I have never been a fan of Jennifer Garner and her over-acted, overly dramatic, annoying, cloying and maudlin style. But, for once (and probably only this once), she is appropriately cast. This is a tearjerker (and maybe even a tad manipulatively so). However, I liked the way it stressed faith, miracles, G-d, and the afterlife in a positive manner.
This is based on the true life story of the Beam Family of Texas, as written in a book by wife and mother Christy Beam, portrayed here by Garner. The Beam family is mortgaged to the hilt as husband, father, and veterinarian Kevin Beam has borrowed heavily to start a veterinary clinic and rescue center for stray animals. And just as the family’s budget is stretched so tight, the Beam’s young daughter, Anna Beam, becomes very sick. Her parents take her to various doctors and hospitals, and no one seems to be able to correctly diagnose Anna’s problem. She can’t keep down any food and is constantly vomiting. Soon, her belly is distended (swollen).
One night, almost near death, the Beams, again, take their daughter to the hospital in the middle of the night. The doctor who examines here declares there is nothing wrong. Mrs. Beam loudly protests, and another doctor examines her, telling the parents that an operation must be performed immediately or the girl will die. After surgery, it is determined that Ann has a problem with her intestines–a rare disorder–and her body cannot process food. But there is one doctor in the country–Dr. Samuel Nurko, a Mexican doctor based in Boston–who is an expert on this condition and can treat her. (In case you were wondering, I looked Dr. Nurko up, and unlike in most other movies, where a White professional or hero is turned into a Hispanic, Black, or other minority for PC reasons, the doc is really Mexican.) The doctor has a long waiting list, and a space will only open up when another patient dies, as few are cured of this condition. Christy Beam is desperate and understandably very emotional in her attempts to get her daughter into the care of Dr. Nurko.
The movie follows Christy Beam’s attempts to get her daughter treated and cured, and shows us how miracles happen as only G-d can make them happen. Through this all, Mrs. Beam loses her faith in G-d and stops attending church, but she regains that faith as she begins to recognize all the miracles right before her eyes that she failed to see previously.
I didn’t find a particular scene to be realistic or believable. In it, church members confront Christy Beam and tell her that she, her husband, or daughter must have committed some great sin for this to happen to her daughter. In my experience at any synagogue I’ve ever attended (and I’m sure this is the case at any church), congregants do whatever they can to empathize with and comfort an afflicted family in this kind of situation. But other than that, it sounds like the story is accurate. Other than Garner, the only other “big name” in this is Queen Latifah a/k/a Dana Owens.
The movie isn’t slow or boring. It’s fast-paced and very moving and touching at the end. And, again, it’s among the slowly growing numbers of movies that portray faith in a positive light. And that’s a good thing. It’s a void that has been unfilled too long.
TWO REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* The Bronze – Rated R: This movie is yet another example of a great idea with a horrible, stupid, filthy execution. Oh, and it mocks Midwesterners and small town America. Typical Hollywood crap, in other words.
Since I once was a sports agent who represented Olympic athletes, including an Olympic Silver Medalist, I thought the concept in this movie was great: a spoiled brat Olympian who won a Bronze Medal years ago is an unemployed loser and a complete creep living in her father’s basement without any ambition in life. But the execution here was just another lowlife, unfunny “comedy” filled with dumb dirty jokes and silly dialogue. Plus it looks down on the good people of Middle America (yes, usually the Republicans) as idiots and naifs. For the lascivious types who’ve often wondered (and fantasized) about a gymnast sex scene, here’s a tip: it isn’t so fantastic, or even interesting at all (at least not in this stupid flick). Another thing: the main character in this movie, played by crappy actress Melissa Rauch (who also wrote this with her husband), has this weird put-upon accent that sounds like nobody I’ve ever met from Ohio . . . unless Ohioans now sound like Sarah Palin and half the people from northern Minnesota.
Rauch plays Hope, an Olympic gymnast who won the Bronze Medal years ago. Now, she’s an egomaniacal creep who leeches off her mailman father and sits in her room masturbating to video of her winning the medal. Oh, and she also steals mail from her father’s truck, shoplifts, mooches off of locals by trading on her Olympic fame, and she does a lot of illegal drugs. She’s never likable, even at the end of the movie when we’re supposed to suddenly be proud of and sympathize with her. She’s a snob who looks down on everyone else, when everyone else should be looking down on her. On top of all that, Hope is living in a time warp. She constantly wears her 1980s (or ’90s?) hair style of teased bangs and ponytail in a scrunchy constantly. Her wardrobe is the same every day: her Olympic warm up.
Hope takes advantage of being her hometown’s most famous resident. She has a reserved parking space on the town’s main street and gets free meals at the local diner. She also steals clothes and buys drugs at the local mall. But she’s worried that her glory will be stolen by local Olympic gymnastics hopeful Maggie (Haley Lue Richardson). Maggie is training with Hope’s ex-coach, a Russian woman with whom she’s had a falling out. But, soon, her ex-coach has committed suicide and a letter arrives in the mail from the dead coach. The letter says the coach is leaving her $500,000, but only after she coaches Maggie in her Olympic bid to completion.
Hope, with no prospects and seeking money, decides to take on the challenge, seeking to sabotage Maggie and keep her from the Olympics. The letter says she gets the money whether or not Maggie makes the Olympic team and regardless of whether she medals. But, because of obstacles in her way–including an ex-Olympian who is also a former flame and a rival–Hope decides to seriously train Maggie and get her to the Olympics. Along the way, Hope kindles a romance with a local who has a face-twitch and is a virgin. Of course, she mocks both of these things.
There is nothing good, interesting, or new in this barely entertaining dud. And nothing worth wasting ten-buck-plus and nearly two hours of your life on. This is mostly garbage.
Like I said, great idea. Horrible movie.
TWO-AND-A-HALF MARXES
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Watch the trailer . . .

* The Confirmation – Rated PG-13: I have mixed feelings about this movie. It covers an important topic from a side we rarely see emanating from Hollywood. On the other hand, it was kinda slow, and I’m not sure I’d pay ten bucks or more to see it.
There are many divorced fathers in America who’ve lost everything because of divorce. Their ex-wives live better than they do, while the ex-husbands are often struggling to survive . . . and at the same time struggling for the opportunity to show their children that they love them. In many cases, the kids have been poisoned and falsely propagandized by their mothers that the father doesn’t care about them.
It’s in this setting and broken family dynamic that this movie takes place. Clive Owen is Walt, father of Anthony. Anthony has been programmed by his mother Bonnie (Maria Bello) that his father doesn’t care and isn’t in his life much. It’s the weekend, and it’s time for Walt to have his portion of shared custody with young Anthony. But there’s a wrinkle . . . a few of them.
Walt is an alcoholic who is trying to recover but having mixed success. And he’s also financially strapped. The home he built for his wife and son is now occupied by his son, his now ex-wife and her wealthy new husband. Walt, in contrast, is struggling to survive and just got locked out of his rental home, from which he’s been evicted. He is offered a job the following Monday, and the job would bring him a lot of much needed cash. But there’s a problem: he discovers that his tools, which are worth several hundred dollars (and were his late father’s) have been stolen from his truck. They were stolen because he left the safe on the truck unlocked (due to drunkenness). Also, they were taken from the truck when Walt went into a bar for a drink and left his son outside to watch the truck. Soon, the son went inside to get his dad, and that’s when they went missing.
The movie is mostly spent on Walt trying to find out who stole his tools and trying to locate them. But it is also spent with Walt trying to show his son that he loves him and is desperately struggling to provide for him and to be a loving father. At the same time that all of this is happening, Walt is confronted with financial crisis after financial crisis. And he and his young son band together to get through it all. His son also plots to cure his dad’s recurring alcoholism.
I think this movie did a very good job of portraying the crises that divorced fathers face in America, except that many–and probably most–men who find themselves in this situation are NOT alcoholics, but just normal, healthy fathers desperately seeking to show their kids love. And it was entertaining. But it went a little slow. It’s a decent movie and a rare one showing divorced fathers’ struggle and lot in American life. It’s tough.
TWO REAGANS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* The Divergent Series: Allegiant – Part 1 – Rated PG-13: Along with the rest of the American moviegoing public, I long ago grew tired of the seemingly endless parade of multiple movie sequels taken from post-apocalyptic, dystopian Young Adult novels. They all seem the same. They all have the same story and plot. And they all blend together into the non-memorable.
This is more of the same. And it’s long past time for it to end. Not to worry for Hollywood’s hypocritical anti-capitalist capitalists, though. Not only won’t they let it end, but–per usual–they’ve stretched this “last” boring chapter of the Divergent book series into two parts. What should have been one movie has been put in extreme slow motion and stretched into two, so they can squeeze maximum profits out of this brand of cinematic sleeping pills.
I fell asleep twice during this, and I missed nothing. Why? Because not only is it the same old story as all the other Young Adult dystopian crap, it’s also the same as the last two movies in this series. It just repeats over and over again, as original and entertaining as shampoo, rinse, repeat. And, yeah, I’d rather be washing my hair than rinsing my brain with this.
Tris (played by the world’s dullest and most overrated actress, Shailene Woodley) and her fellow rebels in post-apocalyptic Chicago have killed their previous dictator, but now they have a new one, from their own side. They can’t stand for it, and as brutal and ruthless trials and executions of their fellow citizens take place, they escape. Tris and gang head for what’s beyond the wall–the wall they’ve been told never to pass over. After some fighting and struggle, they make it over the wall. At first they find a lot of red desert land and destroyed villages. It’s empty and desolate. But then they are “rescued” by others and find themselves in a new place run by Jeff Daniels, who is supposed to be a good guy. But is he? If you’ve seen even one of this kind of movie, you already know the answer. It’s so predictable because they simply can’t come up with anything new. New enemies and fights have to be invented to keep the action, fight scenes, and (lack of a) story going.
There is a lot of talk about “the council” versus “the bureau,” which is confusing and silly. But, hey, they need to fill a script and a movie. And there’s this thing about a community in Providence. Who cares? I sure did not.
Post-apocalyptic Providence is as interesting as post-apocalyptic Chicago and Shailene Woodley. As in, not very.
Skip this and save two hours of your life you’ll never get back.
ONE MARX
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Watch the trailer . . .

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Monday, March 23, 2015

Wknd Box Office: Divergent Series: Insurgent, The Gunman, It Follows, Deli Man

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/ reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post about some of the movies from last week and THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed! This all follows this post about guidelines to choosing good movies to watch yourself!

Wknd Box Office: Divergent Series: Insurgent, The Gunman, It Follows, Deli Man


By Debbie Schlussel
Nothing I can really recommend that’s new today at movie theaters:
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* “The Divergent Series: Insurgent“: This is the second installment of the dull Hunger Games rip-off, The Divergent Series. I didn’t like the first one much (read my review), and this one is only slightly better. Like the first one, this is long, slow, and boring. But at least there’s more action and special effects. Still, the movie is confusing and pointless.
And at the end, we learn that all the killing and animosity between various factions of humans was just “an experiment” performed by humanitarians. Really? This is what passes for humanitarian only in place like Iran. By the way, if you don’t know what I’m talking about it’s for two reasons. First, you need to have seen the first installment of this movie series to understand what’s going on in this boring, blah, dystopian world. Second, I saw the first movie, and I still didn’t really know all of what was going on. It’s confusing. And it’s hard to remember a first movie from over a year ago that was so boring I struggled to stay awake.
Also, the acting in this movie stinks. The vastly overrated Shailene Woodley’s version of acting is speaking through her nose and at the edge of her gravelly throat. All I can hear throughout is her real-life bragging about how she likes to eat clay. Her lesbionic haircut doesn’t help things. Two of the leading males in the movie have both played her lovers in recent previous movies, including the guy who plays her brother in this one. Come on, Hollywood, come up with some new casting choices AND new storylines beyond dark, dusty futures where kids must kill to survive.
The story: in dystopian America, the humans who are left are divided into a few groups, according to their personalities and are taken from their parents to be raised and trained by their groups. But those who cannot be neatly put in one group and show multiple traits are called “Divergents” and considered to be a danger to society. Tris (Woodley) is a Divergent on the run with fellow Divergents. They are being sought out for death (and first, for experiments) by the evil dictator, Jeanine (Kate Winslet).
Ho hum. Who cares?
HALF A REAGAN
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “The Gunman“: This long, slow, boring, incredibly cheesy movie is Jeff Spicoli’s, er . . . Sean Penn’s attempt to become an aging action hero a la Liam Neeson in the “Taken” movies. But it and he fail miserably. The story is stupid and nonsensical, and, um, it’s Sean Penn, so it’s laughable. The movie was co-written and produced by Penn, and it shows. It’s utter crap and not the least bit interesting. I struggled to stay awake. I also felt I was stuck in a 1990s time warp as this movie seems anachronistic and at least two decades behind the times in terms of presentation and storyline (hey, just like Sean Penn’s real-life mindset).
Also, I think the purpose of this movie was for Sean Penn to show us multiple gratuitous shots of his buff chest without his shirt on. But if I wanted to see that, I’d watch “Magic Mike.” Nobody wants to see this grizzled old man shirtless. He looks like a caricature of what Jeff Spicoli used to be, complete with a corny scene of Penn surfing and running to land from the crashing waves. The overstuffed Penn physique looks comical, like Hans and Frans found an extra “pump you up” bodysuit and put Spicoli into it. I couldn’t stop laughing. Spicoli at 70 ain’t pretty (yeah, I know Penn is only 54, but he looks 74.) Watching Penn repeatedly sucking the face of his love interest in public and then having stupid sex with her, I felt like I was watching a nutty old uncle with no edit button. Eeeuuw. No thanks.
Iran-lover Penn plays a hitman for some private outfit, which is now stationed in the Congo. He is assigned to assassinate the country’s mining minister for a private client. Eight years later, he is trying to live a new life doing humanitarian work, digging wells for a Non-Governmental Organization (NGO) in the Congo, when armed men try to kill him. The rest of the movie, Penn travels to England and Spain, seeking out the identity of his would-be assassins and their reasons, which are never made clear. And, frankly, I didn’t care. You won’t either.
Throughout this unbearable waste of time, I kept thinking about Sean Penn’s character (and the actor himself), “Just Die Already!” Sadly, the actor is still with us and lives another day to make yet another bomb.
High-quality Gitmo torture material.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR JEFF SPICOLIS PLUS TWO ISIS BEHEADINGS
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Watch the trailer . . .

* “It Follows“: Oy vey, what utter dreck! I hate-hate-hated this movie, subsidized by Michigan taxpayers via the abominable Michigan Film Tax Credit. Billed as a “horror movie” or “thriller,” it was neither scary nor thrilling. Just a long, slow, dumb, utter bore. Apparently, the purpose of this movie was for some immature writer, director, and casting agent to get to see a lot of nude actresses and actors and then ask them to have sex. Um, don’t we already have plenty of that? it’s called, “porn.” Yup, this movie is Exhibit A of why taxpayers shouldn’t be forced to pay for Hollywood-wannabe’s trash. It’s time for clean-up in Aisle Eight, and fortunately, it looks like the film subsidies will soon get the ax. Should’ve happened long ago. Oh, and did I mention this movie features the feel-good mother-rapes-her-son scene of the year?
The “plot” (if you can call it that): a college-aged girl has sex with a guy she just met. Then, he ties her up in a chair and tells her she’s just been invaded by a monster or evil spirit or whatever he means by “it.” And the only way for her to get rid of it is to have sex with someone else right away to get rid of it. Instead, she doesn’t do much and she starts seeing weird ghosts walking around. Then, she decides to have sex with two different guy friends, but it doesn’t help get rid of the demons. The end.
And can you believe that a bunch of idiotic movie critics liked this absolute crap?
Why must Michigan taxpayers pay for this turd-fest? A hundred minutes of my life I’ll never get back. The only thing I liked about this movie was the ’70s(or ’80s)-style synthesizer soundtrack.
Yup, yet more high-quality Gitmo torture material.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR ISIS BEHEADINGS
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Watch the trailer. . . .

* “Deli Man“: I thought I would really like this because I love delis, I’m a foodie, and am interested in Jewish culture. But I didn’t find anything new or interesting in the documentary, save for the fact that there were more Jewish generals in the Confederacy Army than in the Union one during the Civil War. That fact, mentioned in the movie, wasn’t worth sitting through this to find that out, as I have a whole library shelf full of history books on Jews in the Civil War I should be reading instead. The movie was relaxing filler–empty calories you might sit through if you have nothing better to do. But I don’t think I’d pay ten dollars to see it. I didn’t come away from it with anything. In fact, it was kind of pointless.
Usually, a documentary has a point of view or tries to shed some light on something interesting. I didn’t find that here. Instead it was a smorgasbord of unnecessary and mostly obvious information on delis. The movie occasionally, through different speakers, laments the dying out of the American deli, and tries to claim it as some form of Judaism and Jewish culture and food. But, actually, there is nothing really Jewish about deli food at all. Jews in Europe and the Middle East did not eat this kind of food. Delicatessens became a mainstay of Jewish immigrants to America, as they were poor and with limited time while working at sweat shops and factories in New York in the late 1800s and early to mid-1900s. They went to delis for a quick, cheap meal. While many in the Yiddish-speaking culture ate at delis and many delis were operated by Jews (and occasionally Jewish and Yiddish words made their way onto menus), there is nothing distinctly Jewish about delis.
The only distinctly Jewish thing about the Jewish people is the Torah and the Jewish law that derives from it. And, yet, most of these people involved in delis are JINOs (Jews In Name Only) who don’t cling to the Jewish religion at all but cling to these foods that have no meaning and no staking claim in Judaism throughout its thousands of years of existence. They are what I call, “Jews In Food Only”–the liberal, self-hating Jews who brag about their latke recipes on Chanukah but eat ham and cheese sandwiches and won’t condemn Palestinian terrorism in unelected positions in the Detroit Jewish community, for instance (yes, there is a woman who exemplifies this). They loved knishes, but more important–and very damaging to the Jewish existence–they love Obama and Hillary more.
I noted that in this deli movie as I note in real life, most delis are not kosher (they pretend they are this fictional phrase, “kosher-style”; kosher is not a style, it’s a Jewish dietary law–either you are kosher or you are not). And most delis are open on Jewish holidays. The deli owner who is the focus of the movie–David “Ziggy” Gruber, a Cordon Bleu-trained chef, third-generation deli operator, and owner of Kenny & Ziggy’s Deli in Houston–thinks he is still connected to Judaism because he serves chopped liver in the style of his grandfather. Yet, the movie celebrates his marriage to an Irish Gentile woman as somehow carrying on the deli tradition and, thus, the Jewish tradition. In fact, it’s the exact opposite. It ends Judaism in his line of descent (though it appears that Gruber’s own mother may not even be Jewish, which would mean that neither is he). The food he serves doesn’t do a damned thing to change that. (I was surprised that he could not even correctly pronounce the word, “challah”–the name for the Jewish braided loaves of bread we traditionally eat on the Sabbath and holidays.)
Here’s a tip for David Gruber: serving–or even eating–pastrami on rye doesn’t make you a good Jew or even Jewish at all. Anyone can eat that, and deli food is popular with many, regardless of faith. Again, the one thing central to Judaism is belief in and observance of the Torah. Perhaps the disappearance of the American Jewish deli is symbolic of American Judaism as American Jews intermarry, embrace secularism and liberalism, and disappear from Judaism altogether.
According to the movie, at one time there were at least 1,500 delis just in Manhattan alone (and not counting the many more in New York’s five boroughs). Now, the movie claims there are fewer than 150-200 in the entire country, and only five in Manhattan, one of them kosher.
The movie seems only to focus on “authentic” delis as Judaism. But delis aren’t authentic Judaism. Not even close.
Chicken soup with matzoh balls and lukshen kugel are very tasty, and like many other ethnicities and religions, food does play a role in Jewish culture. But it is a minor role. Good food is neither the legacy of Judaism nor the key to the long-term survival of the Jewish people.
The death of delis in America is not the tragedy in Judaism, the death of Judaism in America is the tragedy.
HALF A REAGAN
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Watch the trailer . . .

Monday, March 24, 2014

Wknd Box Office: Divergent, Grand Budapest Hotel, Bad Words, Enemy, On My Way, Veronica Mars

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/ reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post about some of the movies from last week and THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed! This all follows this post about guidelines to choosing good movies to watch yourself!




Wknd Box Office: Divergent, Grand Budapest Hotel, Bad Words, Enemy, On My Way, Veronica Mars



By Debbie Schlussel
My movie reviews are late because my internet service went out for a couple of days (some nebulous “techical issue” BS), and I gave up on the (very) slow connection at Starbucks. Plus my car’s alternator went bad, and I had to get that fixed before I could drive around searching for places with faster connections while my internet service provider worked on fixing whatever tech glitch was happening. So, please forgive me for this weekend’s delay. It was killing me not being able to put these reviews up earlier. I did not see “Muppets Most Wanted” because it was screened for critics on a Saturday morning, during the Jewish Sabbath.
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* “Divergent“: Like “The Hunger Games” movies, this is based on several young adult novels about a dystopian, post-apocalyptic future in America. I found it to be extremely slow, long, and boring, and not nearly as exciting, thrilling, or suspenseful as “The Hunger Games” flicks, even though the story is almost exactly the same. Come on, Hollywood. Come up with something new already. Clocking in at nearly 2.5 hours, they could have lopped off an hour from this and lost nothing. Also, this is yet another one of those movies, in which the diminutive, thin chick is a she-male warrior–far stronger than virtually all of the men. In other words, not believable. It’s also troubling that one of the tests given to the young heroine of the movie is whether or not she will shoot and kill her parents and brother. This is the stuff they are feeding kids. Sad.
The story: it’s the future, and the big city (which looks like New York or downtown Los Angeles) is walled off from the rest of the world, where war and tragedy have struck and danger lurks. The people have been divided into several factions depending upon their skills and chosen path. The movie’s protagonist, Tris, is from a family of the “Abnegation” faction, which is generous, gives charity, and tends to the needs of others. They are the ones in power, running the government, but the “Erudite” faction wants to take over.
It is at the point in life that Tris and many of the kids her age are tested to see which faction they best fit into. Tris’ test results show that she is “divergent,” which means she fits into more than one faction. She is told she must keep this a secret because it makes her an enemy of the state and they will kill her over it (or something). After the young people are tested, they must choose their path in life by picking a faction. Tris chooses “Dauntless,” the faction of the warriors and protectors of everyone else. Thereafter, she goes through a series of tests and competitions to show how brave she is and that she will follow commands. Among these, Tris is given a substance that puts her under, and she imagines a series of situations, while her handlers watch what she chooses in her subconscious. One of those situations is facing her parents and brother. She is ordered to shoot and kill them, which she does in blind obeyance.
Tris and her instructor in the Dauntless group fall in love and fight to save their parents and people in their former Abnegation faction in rebellion against the leader of everyone, who is played by Kate Winslet.
Yaaaaawn.
ONE MARX
Watch the trailer . . .
* “The Grand Budapest Hotel“: I really enjoyed this amusing, fun, offbeat comedy/thriller movie (even though one of its many stars is the anti-Israel F. Murray Abraham). If you like the other zany, funny, kitschy movies directed by Wes Anderson, you’ll like this one as well. It’s light and relaxing.
Inspired by the writing of the late Austrian Jewish novelist Stefan Zweig, the movie takes place mostly in 1932 at a fabulous European resort hotel, the Grand Budapest Hotel. It centers on the adventures of the hotel’s concierge, Gustave H. (Ralph Fiennes), and his sidekick/protege, Zero Moustafa, the hotel’s young “lobby boy” (bellboy). And older Zero (Abraham) recounts what happened at that time as he tells it to a hotel guest and writer (Jude Law) in the 1960s.
Gustave gets entangled in the affairs of a wealthy woman who is a frequent guest at the hotel and who dies and leaves him her valuable painting, “Boy With Apple.” The woman’s surviving family members are up in arms and out to get Gustave and disprove the bequest of the painting, while Gustave and Zero try to escape around the country (Gustave is suspected of killing the departed rich lady). What follows is a set of madcap adventures and chases, gags and escapes. It’s a fun movie in every single way–from colorful sets to colorful characters. The large cast of actors also includes Bill Murray, Adrien Brody, Willem Dafoe, Jeff Goldblum, both Wilson Brothers (Owen and Luke–who is uncredited), Edward Norton, and many others. Don’t take your kids to see this, though. It’s rated “R” for a reason.
THREE-AND-A-HALF REAGANS
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* “Bad Words“: Jason Bateman stars in, directed, and produced this comedy, which is very funny for the first quarter and soon runs out of gas. At the beginning, the theme of the movie–a 40-year-old who finagles his way into the national spelling bee on a technicality–is a novel idea. But the film quickly turns into an objectionable, obscene corrupting of a ten-year-old boy and your usual Hollywood attack on fathers and dads.
Bateman is the 40-year-old. He never passed eleventh grade or graduated from high school, and poorly written rules designed to keep adults out of the spelling bee are turned on their head, with Bateman winning local and regional spelling bees and getting into the nationally televised contest. All of the parents and their kid contestants hate Bateman and are out to get rid of him. But no matter what is thrown his way, he continues to spell word after difficult word correctly and outsmart and eliminate opponents through (very) nasty tricks and so on. An obscure news website is sponsoring him and paying his way, and he is accompanied by a nerdy reporter (Kathryn Hahn) from the news site, with whom he has repeated sex romps.
Bateman meets and is befriended by a ten-year-old competitor of Indian (Asian, not Native American) descent. He corrupts the kid, taking him to see a prostitute and paying her to whip out her naked breasts and jiggle them. Yup, that’s what passes for “funny” in movies, these days. Very sad. And, then, we learn that Bateman is doing all of this to embarrass the man who fathered him with a cocktail waitress and abandoned them, refusing to take responsibility for being a father–the intellectual founder and organizer of the national spelling bee. Yes, another Hollywood cinematic urination on America’s dads as either irresponsible losers or, in this case, cold cretins who abandon their kids. Note that, while there is no shortage of evil White fathers who rampantly father ad abandon children in these kinds of movies, Hollywood rarely serves up any depiction of this behavior where it is far more rampant: Black America.
Oh, and one other thing: the ways Bateman embarrasses and beats his fellow spelling bee competitors are disgusting. In one case, for instance, he gets a girl to get up from her seat and squirts ketchup on it, so she sits down on it just before she’s about to be called up for her turn in the bee. He tells he that she has just gotten her period and that all of America will see it live on national TV. So, completely embarrassed, she runs out of the room, rather than continue to compete. What kind of warped Hollywood minds come up with this grotesque, sleazy stuff? Some guy named Andrew Dodge, who wrote the screenplay, and Jason Bateman, who made this horrible movie. That’s who. You stay classy.
THREE-AND-A-HALF MARXES
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* “Enemy“: There are two “doppelganger” movies I’ve seen this past week. This one, and the far superior, “The Face of Love” (stay tuned for my review in the coming weeks). By doppelganger movies, I mean movies in which there are two characters that look exactly alike. But there has to be more to it than that. And in this case, there just isn’t. I found this movie to be a total rip-off. It bills itself as a mystery and a thriller, but that’s not truth in advertising. Not even close.
Jake Gyllenhaal plays Adam, a college professor in Toronto, who seems kind of bored and unhappy. At the recommendation of one of his colleagues, he rents a movie from the local video store (they still have those?) and notes that the actor who plays “Bellboy #3″ looks exactly like him. Soon he becomes obsessed with finding his doppelganger, Anthony, and meeting him. They meet each other, after a lot of spying by Adam. And, then, the shyer Adam and cruel, assertive Anthony switch places toward the end, having interaction with each other’s blonde significant others (who also look similar).
The problem with this movie is that nothing really happens. It’s a great idea, but it’s not exciting, and it’s long, slow, and boring, with silly “something’s about to happen” orchestral music playing constantly in the background, to the point of annoying. No, beyond that point. Plus, at a certain point in the movie, it becomes very difficult to tell which of the two exact lookalikes you are watching. So it’s confusing.
Then, there are the artsy fartsy ambitions of this movie, which are just laugh-out-loud funny and not intended that way. From the very beginning of the movie, there are scenes of men at some live orgy or sex show and women doing something with spiders. It has zero point or relation to anything else in the movie, even though I’m sure plenty of pseudo-intellectual liberals and lefties will tell me I’m just not smart enough to “get” this “monumental symbolism.” Nope, it’s just absurd and pretentious. And stupid. And, at the very end of the movie, when you expect something to happen, you instead are shown one of the characters’ female significant others has turned into a giant spider. The end. Huh? Again, I am apparently not intellectually sophisticated enough to get the “great artistic statement and valuable social commentary” of this giant spider (and the earlier scenes of women putting tarantulas up their vaginas while masturbating before an audience of men). Whatever.
Oy, why did I waste 1.5 hours of my time watching this drivel? So. You. Don’t. Have. To.
You were forewarned.
TWO MARXES
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* “On My Way [Elle S'en Va]“: This French movie, with English subtitles, is yet another long, boring waste of time, in which nothing really happens. And I couldn’t care less about what does happen.
Catherine Deneuve plays a senior citizen and aged former French beauty pageant winner, whose life is falling apart in all ways. Her seafood restaurant is struggling to survive, she lives with her annoying, very senior citizen mother, and she’s just learned that her married lover of decades has finally left his wife, but not for her (for a 25-year-old lover he’s gotten pregnant). She is also struggling to keep her house, where she and her mother live. She decides to just drive and go on a road trip, where she gets drunk at a bar, has sex with some young stranger at a motel, and ignores all cell phone calls from her mother and her employees frantic to keep the restaurant going. Soon, she gets a call from her estranged, unemployed, loser daughter, demanding that she watch her grandson, while her daughter travels for a job. But, while on the road with her insolent grandson, she loses him, runs out of money, and encounters other problems. So, desperate for food and lodging, she goes to a reunion of all the French regional beauty pageant winners, something she’d been hoping to avoid. Then, she falls in love with the paternal grandfather of her grandson. The end.
Again, another waste of time that goes nowhere and is extremely pointless.
TWO MARXES
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* “Veronica Mars“: I never got into the TV series on which this is based. I found it boring and silly, and not at all thrilling or suspenseful, even though it’s supposed to be a detective show. And it was pretentious, too. The same can be said of this movie, times a thousand. Boring, silly, and you can’t figure out the “whodunnit” . . . even if you cared to. I didn’t care. I struggled to stay awake during this long, slow, boring waste of time. And if you didn’t watch the TV show, you probably won’t get a ton of the dynamics here. This wasn’t screened for critics, and it’s obvious why. The movie is just dumb. No wonder they needed Kickstarter to fund this. Even the studio was smart enough to stay away from throwing money down this black hole, where, according to CNN, you can also find Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370.
TWO-AND-A-HALF MARXES
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