Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/ reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post about some of the movies from last week and THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed! This all follows this post about guidelines to choosing good movies to watch yourself!

Weekend Box Office: Dawn of the Planet of the Apes, Hellion

By Debbie Schlussel
Nothing worth paying to see among the new offerings at the movies, this weekend:

* “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes“: With a human male and an ape male nearly kissing toward the end of this movie, methinks the only thing the next sequel can do to top the absurdity of this one is interspecies erotica followed by an interspecies baby who faces extreme prejudice from humans. You know that’s coming soon.
The message of this PETA-esque movie is: apes are people, too. Humans and apes are morally equivalent in this movie, and, actually, the apes are maybe better, since the humans interrupt and partially destroy the apes’ peaceful way of life. The late Charlton Heston can rest easy: his original “Planet of the Apes” movie still reigns supreme. Not that this is a surprise.

The movie was incredibly long, boring, and repetitive. And it couldn’t have been more uninteresting. Despite the fact that this movie is heavily marketed to kids, it’s also extremely bloody and violent, with the apes throwing another ape off a balcony, and you are treated to a loud splat!. Then, there are the apes machine-gunning humans to death. But, still, we are told that the apes are the good guys who are just responding after the humans invaded and killed an innocent ape boy. I felt like I was watching CNN coverage of the “innocent” HAMAS Palestinians weeping over their dead boys while nobody gave a crap or remembered the three Israeli Jewish teens who were kidnapped and murdered for no reason.
The movie takes place ten years or so after the first “reboot” of the “Planet of the Apes” movies, “Rise of the Planet of the Apes” (read my review), which I didn’t think was all that great, but is a masterpiece compared to this. A virus has wiped out most of the human race, and there is no electric power. Humans live in one area (and most of civilization is overgrown and abandoned), and apes live in the woods. The apes are a super race of apes because of the experimentation that’s been done on them by the evil humans ten years earlier.
Soon, humans decide to invade ape territory because they want to fix a dam in order to restore electricity. But an evil human murders an ape son, and it breeds hatred of humans within the ape population. Only the peaceful head of the apes, Caesar, holds the apes back. But his rival, Koba, hates humans after the killing, and he tries to murder Caesar and frame the humans for it. This starts a war, with the apes invading the human area and killing and imprisoning them.
Sounds like an anti-ape movie, right? Nope. Even with all this, it is “all the humans’ fault.” Like I said: CNN HAMAS coverage or Trayvon Martin coverage. And I’ve had enough of that in real life news. I don’t need to pay to see it in a dark movie theater in a long, boring silver screen diatribe.
And neither do you (but if you must, do not pay extra to see it in 3D – the 3D stinks). Thanks, Rupert Murdoch.
I had to laugh as the audience at the screening I attended applauded this tripe at the end. Americans are suckers easily sated with bread-and-circuses cinema despite its disturbing content and messages, just as they are with bread-and-circuses presidents. After all, they gave us eight years of Barack Obama and George W. Bush.
FOUR CLUBBED SEALS PLUS FOUR TOFURKEYS



* “Hellion“: This is supposed to be another “breakout” movie for “Breaking Bad” star Aaron Paul. And it fails miserably. It’s low-budget and it shows. And the story and movie were pointless and a complete and total waste of time.
Paul plays yet another in the long string of irresponsible, careless dads brought to us by anti-male Hollywood. He’s a working-class father whose wife died, and he is left to raise two sons. But he leaves them alone for weeks while he gets drunk and works on a vacation home that the family is about to lose to foreclosure. The older son, a young teen, is a vandal and criminal, who gets caught. But he is let out and he influences the younger son to get involved in the life of crime, too. Soon, Paul loses custody of the younger son to his sister-in-law. And the life of crime of the older son continues. It all ends in worse violence involving a gun. The end.
Like I said, a pointless waste of time.
FOUR MARXES PLUS FOUR OBAMAS

Watch the trailer . . .

Here is an interesting article from http://www.debbieschlussel.com/ reviewing some of the movies that came out over the past weekend. This follows this post about some of the movies from last week and THIS POST about some movies that have been released over the past few years that you might have missed! This all follows this post about guidelines to choosing good movies to watch yourself!

Weekend Box Office: Need for Speed, The Bag Man, Jimmy P.

By Debbie Schlussel
Another ho-hum weekend at the box office, in terms of new offerings. I did not see, “Veronica Mars,” as it was not screened for most critics.


* “Need For Speed“: This movie is very thin on story, but the reason to see it is the fast-paced, heart-pumping car racing, or as radio talk show host Brett Winterble calls it, “auto porn.” There are a lot of cool cars, high speed chases and racing, and fabulous, death-defying stunts. And this is one of the few movies I recommend seeing in 3D. It makes all the difference. The movie is sort of a mix of the earlier “Fast & Furious” movies, “Cannonball Run,” and “It’s a Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.”
I enjoyed the auto racing part of this movie and the cool cars–I’d never before heard of or seen a Koenigsegg (my new favorite car), until I saw this movie. What a cool car. And the movie features a rebuilt $3 million Shelby and other very high end sports cars. If you like those, you’ll probably like this.

The story: a gearhead mechanic (“Breaking Bad’s” Aaron Paul, in his first major feature film starring role) who works on expensive, high end sports cars out of his professional garage, owes a lot of money in unpaid bills. He loves to street race for money and has an offer from a wealthy rival to rebuild a Shelby. He rebuilds it in exchange for a cut of the sales price, but gets caught up in a winner-takes-all street race with the racing rival. In the process, Paul’s best friend is killed, and he is framed for the death by the wealthy rival.
But after getting out of prison, he manages to get the new owner of the Shelby to allow him to use it in a big illegal street race known as the “De Leon.” The race is promoted and broadcast by a cheesy, wealthy guy with an online racing broadcast (Michael Keaton). Most of the movie is spent showing Paul and a girl trying to get the car across the country in time for the race, with the aid of a friend of his who flies helicopters and small planes and scouts out the police and traffic.
As I said, the story is thin, and who would risk jail time to win an illegal street race? Somebody stupid and crazy (and criminal). That’s who. And I didn’t like the many scenes in which police are flouted and even hurt in car accidents, some of them fiery and likely fatal, as Paul tries to get across the country and win the race. That was troubling, especially when the audience cheered that stuff. Also troubling: the illegal use of a U.S. military helicopter to aid Paul in reaching the race destination. I’m supposed to cheer this stuff? That’s the usual “quality” stuff you get when a movie is based on a video game, as this is. But the story isn’t the reason you go to see a movie like this. It’s the cool cars and stunts.
And that’s why I give it . . .
ONE REAGAN



* “The Bag Man“: This long, slow, boring movie was pointless and a complete waste of time. What sounded like an interesting story was just a gratuitous killing spree of blood, guts, and gore for what reason? Beats me. I couldn’t care less for anyone in the movie, as none of the characters is likable or interesting in any way.
John Cusack plays a hitman for a wealthy mobster (Robert De Niro in a new and novel role for him). The mobster orders him to get a bag, not look in the bag, and wait in a seedy motel room for the mobster to arrive. Cusack kills several people in the process of getting the bag, holding onto it, and staying alive at the motel. In the process of this, Cusack gets to know a Slavic prostitute and kills her midget and full-sized pimps (am I allowed to use the word “midget” anymore?). He also kills an FBI agent, the hotel manager, two corrupt cops, etc., etc., etc. Who cares? Not me.
Skip this.
TWO-AND-A-HALF MARXES



* “Jimmy P.“: If the most left-wing anti-American college anthropology professor made a movie and insisted you see it, it would be this horribly long, boring, pointless waste of time. High-quality Gitmo torture. Just awful.
“Based on a true story,” Jimmy P. is an American Indian, er . . . “Native American!” played by Benicio Del Toro (yes, I know he’s Puerto Rican, but apparently the casting director thinks “they all look alike,” or something.) Jimmy P. is an Indian who fought in World War II and suffers headaches and nightmares because of a wartime injury. Because he’s a Blackfoot Indian, the Veterans Administration gets a faux-French anthropologist of Mojave Indians (apparently, they are similar to the Blackfoot) to try to help him.
Soon, we are taken on ridiculous, boring, and sleep-inducing tangents into the anthropologist’s life, his married girlfriend’s life, and her husband in France’s life. I could not have cared less about any of them or their stuff. Then, we’re taken back to the Indian dude, who describes his weird sexual experiences and traumas as a kid on the reservation and his refusal to marry the mother of his child. Then, the anthropologist gives a lecture to the V.A. doctors about the Indian’s penis envy. Oy vey. Why on earth did I sit through this weird bleep?
There can only be one reason: So. You. Don’t. Have. To.
TWO-AND-A-HALF MARXES